There is no autobiography that inspires such holy tears as The Story of a Soul. Throughout it, readers will witness the total conversion of Saint Thérèse of Lisieux from childish to truly childlike. In this excerpt, Saint Thérèse offers examples of overcoming annoyance and making small acts of charity with great love.
My practice of charity is not always accompanied by such exhilaration, but at the beginning of my religious life, Jesus wanted me to understand how sweet it is to see Him in the souls of His spouses; so I escorted Sister St. Peter with so much love that I could not possibly have done it better had it been Our Lord Himself. Nor have I found the practice of charity always so easy, as you will soon see. I will tell you a few of my many struggles, to prove it.
The Fidgeting Sister
For a long time I had to kneel during meditation near a Sister who could not stop fidgeting; if it was not with her rosary, it was with goodness knows what else. Maybe no one else noticed it; I have a very sensitive ear. But you have no idea how much it annoyed me. I wanted to turn around and glare at the culprit to make her be quiet, but deep in my heart I felt that the best thing to do was to put up with it patiently, for the love of God first of all, and also not to hurt her feelings. So I kept quiet, bathed in perspiration often enough, while my prayer was nothing more than the prayer of suffering! In the end, I tried to find some way of bearing it peacefully and joyfully, at least in my inmost heart; then I even tried to like this wretched little noise. It was impossible not to hear it, so I turned my whole attention to listening really closely to it, as if it were a magnificent concert, and spent the rest of the time offering it to Jesus. It was certainly not the prayer of quiet!
Dirty Water
Another time, washing handkerchiefs in the laundry opposite a Sister who kept on splashing me with dirty water, I was tempted to step back and wipe my face to show her that I would be obliged if she would be more careful. But why be foolish enough to refuse treasures offered so generously? I took care to hide my exasperation. I tried hard to enjoy being splashed with dirty water, and by the end of half an hour, I had acquired a real taste for this novel form of aspersion. How fortunate to find this spot where such treasures were being given away! I would come back as often as I could.
The Irritating Sister
There was at that time a certain nun who managed to irritate me in everything she did. The devil had a part in it, for it was certainly he who made me see all her bad points. Not wishing to give way to natural antipathy, I reminded myself that sentiments of charity were not enough; they must find expression, and I set myself to treat her as if I loved her best of all. I prayed for her whenever we met, and offered all her virtues and merits to God. I was sure that Jesus would be delighted at this, for artists always like to have their work praised, and it pleases the Divine Artist of souls when, not stopping at the exterior, we penetrate the inner sanctuary where He dwells, to admire its beauty.
I prayed earnestly for this Sister who had caused me so much struggle, but this was not enough for me. I tried to do everything I possibly could for her, and when tempted to answer her sharply, I hastened to give her a friendly smile and talk about something else, for, as it says in The Imitation, “It is better to leave everyone to his own way of thinking than begin an argument.” (Imit., III, xliv, 1).
Sometimes, when the devil made a particularly violent attack, if I could slip away without letting her suspect my inward struggle, I would run away from the battle like a deserter; and what was the result? She said to me one day, her face radiant: “What do you find so attractive in me? Whenever we meet, you give me such a gracious smile.” What attracted me? It was Jesus hidden in the depths of her soul, Jesus who makes attractive even what is most bitter.
So you see, Mother, what a very little soul I am! I can only offer very little things to God. These little sacrifices bring great peace of soul, but I often let the chance of making them slip by.
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This article is taken from a chapter in The Story of a Soul by Saint Thérèse of Lisieux which is available from TAN Books.
