In this excerpt, John of Ávila warns that God may allow spiritual dryness or distress as a response to how one treats others, especially if done with unkindness. He urges the reader to reflect on their relationships and to treat neighbors with the same mercy and love they desire from God. In this mutual exchange, loving others becomes the surest way to receive God’s own grace and kindness.
God’s Delay Is for Your Good
“Lord, why isn’t it being given to me?” Because He wants something for you that is more befitting. If God delays [in giving] what you ask Him for, all the better and more befitting your salvation. God is not deaf nor rigorous; He loves you, He wants your good. Our Master and Redeemer Jesus Christ said: I give You thanks, Lord, because You always hear Me. In these words, He also gave thanks on our behalf, for we are always heard by God, You Who save those hoping in You. Let us hope, let our hearts trust in the Lord, let us not fall later if, later, He does not answer us, for He will answer us, and He will give us what we ask Him for, for did He not boldly say, Ask, and you will receive, etc.? Why would the highest Truth have said this, if afterwards, He was to be deaf to our petitions and to our labors and hide Himself when we call upon Him? He will not fail to answer, even if He delays a little, and if He delays, do not be distressed, for thus it behooves, thus is it needful; have strength to hope in Him with faith, for He will fulfill His word and answer us, since He has said to us that we should seek and we should ask and we should call. Oh shame of men, that they do not come, being invited and called!
You May Be Asking for the Wrong Thing
“Then, why isn’t what I ask for being given to me?” Because it’s not befitting. “Why doesn’t God give me children? Why does He give me illnesses? Why does He take away my goods? Why doesn’t He give me this? Why doesn’t He give me that?”
Because, if you are good, you’ll be content with this, and if not, it befits you, because you are evil. The good Christian asks only for that which does him good, that which brings him to heaven. God says: “Then let Me do it, for I will give you what best befits you for the end you seek.” That is, for those loving God, everything cooperates unto good. Never ask something of Our Lord without leaving that bosom bare: Deum [“God”]. Oh, if this were so, that door open, that condition clear! Lord, give it to me, if it would fulfill my soul.
God Refuses Like a Wise Doctor
Saint Augustine says that the angry God grants many things which the kindly one would not grant. You are sick; you ask the doctor to give you water or something else that He knows will hurt you. He says: “It’s not befitting; beware, because it’s dangerous.” You importuned Him, and you said to Him that He denies you what you ask Him for because He wills ill for you. So many times you ask Him to give it you and say: “Take it over there, drown yourself in it.” Never urge Him, but rather say: “Lord, if Your Majesty wills to fulfill me, give this to me, and if not, don’t give it to me, if it would not be for my salvation;” and in this way, you will always go aright, and the Lord will give you only that with which your soul will be saved, and be content with that, since, if you are good, this must be your desire, and this must be your end in all your demands. If He does not give you what you ask for now, it is through the great love that He has for you, and because He knows that, giving it to you, you would be lost. And if the doctor does not give you what you ask for, it is so that he would not do you the ill it would do, and not because he wills ill for you. And for this reason, you shouldn’t complain because you don’t have something, since what seems to be un-love comes from greater love; and granting what He seems to be denying you would hurt you, although it seems the opposite to you; and He answers you, although it seems that He has become deaf.
Delays for a Greater Reward
To others, God does not give what they ask, so that, at the time of payment, they would receive a greater reward. It is clear that the wage of ten days is worth more than that of one. All that you labor for and afflict yourself for now, Our Lord will reward you with the justly demanded wage for it, and if, later, He does not pay it, it is for your greater good. There is another principal reason why what you ask for is not given you. You are given to. You do not ask without being given to, because to not give to you is to give to you. Tell me, if there was a man in greatest danger, because they wanted to slit his throat, and this man asked for a locket—man, beg them not to kill you, beg them to pardon you, ignore the locket right now! Your soul is in some sin: isn’t it worth more for you to be given what would better fulfill you, so that you might enter into your soul and say, “Why does the Lord deny me this? I must have done something against Him; I’ve made Him angry, since He doesn’t want to hear me”? This is a great spur, and it is very worthwhile for those who are careless and stuck in some sins.
Divine Silence as a Call to Conversion
“Lord, I asked for this, You don’t answer me; You don’t show me Your face; it grieves me that You’re so bad to me; I’ll amend myself, Lord. Pardon me! I want to be better and to do penance.” In this way, by denying you your demand, you will know your sins, and you will fear the rigorous and fearful face of God in the other world. Now, a sin is a fearful thing. Since here, in this world, where things are not known as they are, the rigorous justice of God causes such fear, how will a sin seem there, where it will be clear in its weight and ugliness? How will it be to appear there, before God, laden with sins and offenses against Him?
Your Treatment of Others Reflects Back on You
You complain that “God doesn’t hear me, He doesn’t console me, He doesn’t give me devotion; I feel Him to be rigorous, it seems like He’s dismissing me, I find contentment in nothing, I don’t know what He’s doing to me.” Brother, look at this very well; be wary of what Our Lord God does many times with those who treat their neighbors unlovingly. Think well if you have angered some neighbor, if you are rude to those you deal with, if you are pained over what they suffer, if you love them or if you mistreat them, because in the way that you have dealt with them, in the same way our Lord will deal with you; make use of this in order to deal with your neighbors as you would want and desire God to deal with you; those who give an account to God give their souls a mirror, as it were, and in that same way, they converse with and treat their neighbors as they want and desire God to treat them. Then know that there is no surer barter nor one that matches so surely as treating your neighbors well and lovingly and doing them all the good that you can, because thus will the Lord deal with you.
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This article is taken from a chapter in My Burden is Light by Saint John of Ávila which is available from TAN Books.
