Our world is in great need of silence. In solitude and silence God speaks to the soul, yet many souls are too occupied with excessive speech to hear the quiet voice of the Creator. Learn from Thomas à Kempis when speaking is useful, why we need more silence, and a remedy against excessive talkativeness.
When Is Speaking at Length Useful and Helpful?
No one should imagine, though, that all extended discourse is inherently reprehensible or spiritually harmful. And this is able to be shown quite clearly out of the teachings and example of Christ Himself and the blessed apostles. For Christ, when He gave His great sermon on the mount, spoke to His disciples at considerable length. And when He sent forth the twelve apostles, He likewise instructed them in detail in an extended discourse. Finally, before He entered into His passion, after the last supper on the Thursday evening, He made a lengthy oration to His disciples. On that occasion, He spoke to them recognizing that they felt as if they were soon to be bereaved and orphaned, and He offered them golden words of encouragement and consolation.
In a similar manner, we read that the apostle Paul once continued to speak to a group until the middle of the night for their edification in the Faith. And comparable examples can be found amongst the early fathers of the Church. For example, Saint Anthony of Egypt often spoke to his monks at length on the life of prayer and renunciation. And we read in the life of Saint Benedict how he once spent an entire night in conversation with his sister, Saint Scholastica, discussing the joys and glories of heaven. Wherever it shall be of particular and genuine usefulness or encouragement to another, speaking at some length may be esteemed as a work of charity and mercy.
Yet one should be extremely cautious in determining when lengthy discourse really is necessary or useful. Often, just as much can be said in a few carefully-chosen sentences than is conveyed in a long or elaborate sermon. Often, a discourse which would have been useful and edifying if kept brief becomes tedious and superfluous by being extended beyond measure. By avoiding unnecessary words, one can ensure that he always has something of value in reserve, ready to offer the brother or sister who really is in need of a word of wisdom or encouragement.
Hence it was that David said, in the previously quoted psalm, “Place, O Lord, a guard over my mouth, and set a secure gate at my lips.” Now a good guard is not only capable of keeping the mouth closed lest any foolish or wicked speech goes out from it, but it is also fully capable of opening the mouth when charity and good judgment genuinely require it.
As a Whole, We Need to Cultivate Silence More than Speech
As a whole, humanity needs to cultivate silence more than speech. There are some people who need to be encouraged to speak more, but these are few and rare. On the other hand, there are very many who talk to excess, without restraint and prudence. For to speak and gossip is in accordance with our lower nature, but to keep silence is to run contrary to the tendency of the flesh. For the flesh incessantly seeks consolations and entertainment in the things of the exterior world rather than in the things of the spirit.
At certain times in life, however, human beings do tend to become silent. This is on those occasions when we are most deeply touched, when our hearts are pierced with love or awe. And this is surely the best way to be in the presence of God.
For those who have received this grace of silence, let them take care to cultivate it carefully and not let it succumb to the distracting impulses of the flesh and the world.
A Remedy against Excessive Talkativeness
An effective remedy against a tendency to excessive talkativeness is to refrain from speaking even when it would be perfectly permissible and acceptable (and even beneficial) to speak. In this way, the discipline of restraint of the tongue is specifically and intentionally trained through a deliberate act of will.
It is the wise student who does not wait to be corrected or punished before he recognizes when he has made a mistake. In the same way, a person should frequently ask himself, “Am I talking too much?” rather than waiting for others to point it out to him!
The Spiritual Perils of Loquaciousness
If a person is accustomed to speaking each and every time he has the opportunity to do so, when shall he be free from words in order to be tranquil and still within himself? If a person is excessively talkative, he will not fail to find many reasons and excuses for speech, nor will he fail to find a person to whom to speak.
And a person given to such talkativeness is often motivated by a hidden desire to be known to all and to be the center of everyone’s attention. The compulsive talker wastes not his own time and attention only but also the time and attention of those whom he chooses as his listeners.
Many excessively talkative people implicitly present themselves as experts on all things, as if they are willing and able to give advice to all other persons on all matters. To point out and correct such a tendency (either in oneself or in another person) is an undeniably difficult and painful thing to do. Yet it is often more harmful to let this fault pass uncorrected.
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This article is taken from a chapter in Solitude and Silence: The Cloister of the Heart by Thomas à Kempis which is available from TAN Books.